win some, lose some
Jun. 28th, 2009 09:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alenxa_classicNot going to be hitting 50k in June, not with 22k to go and two days to do it. I really lost interest about the middle of last week, and I do mean really lost interest. (That, and I've been having more beer than usual due to various celebrations, and I don't write under the influence. It's not worth mopping up the result later.) I wrote Channako's bar fight, and then realized that my pacing decisions and love of dialogue mean this thing is gearing up to be Lord of Chaos long. Not that I have a problem with it being huge, but I'm having doubts that people are going to want to read a first novel that big. A very stupid thing to be worried about, and one any agent will probably gladly clarify for me when the monster gets finished.
So what I'm going to do about this is not worry about June, and keep going at whatever pace I can crank out, on any day I can handle it. I need to shift to a daily goal, or even weekly, rather than a monthly one. I'm going to get rid of all the notes and outlining I left in the file for count, because I'm sick of seeing it and it isn't going to help a daily goal. I'm not going to be afraid to go back and edit, because I'll need to have accurate information to refer back to when it gets really huge. I'm not going to renew my Shockwave sub until I have a job and have gotten used to writing in addition to the job. Not, as has happened before, to the detriment of the job. And (this is the big one) I'm not going to permit myself to feel like a failure, no matter what I do or don't do toward goals in a day. I went to a panel with David Gerrold at WonderCon, and the best advice I got from it was: "A writer is never not writing. They're either recovering from writing or preparing to write." So I need to figure out which I'm doing, whether I'm justified in continuing to do it, and when to move on to the next step. No guilt. Until my brain realizes that failure-guilt comes only from inaction.
Also, there ought to be a large pitcher-shaped hole in the apartment wall, considering how much figurative Kool-Aid I've drunk this week. There is now an empty storefront for klfdesigns at Etsy, waiting for me to set out some badge lanyards and fuzzy scarves, and probably some jewelry as well. Proceeds will benefit the "Parking For Comic-Con" fund.
So what I'm going to do about this is not worry about June, and keep going at whatever pace I can crank out, on any day I can handle it. I need to shift to a daily goal, or even weekly, rather than a monthly one. I'm going to get rid of all the notes and outlining I left in the file for count, because I'm sick of seeing it and it isn't going to help a daily goal. I'm not going to be afraid to go back and edit, because I'll need to have accurate information to refer back to when it gets really huge. I'm not going to renew my Shockwave sub until I have a job and have gotten used to writing in addition to the job. Not, as has happened before, to the detriment of the job. And (this is the big one) I'm not going to permit myself to feel like a failure, no matter what I do or don't do toward goals in a day. I went to a panel with David Gerrold at WonderCon, and the best advice I got from it was: "A writer is never not writing. They're either recovering from writing or preparing to write." So I need to figure out which I'm doing, whether I'm justified in continuing to do it, and when to move on to the next step. No guilt. Until my brain realizes that failure-guilt comes only from inaction.
Also, there ought to be a large pitcher-shaped hole in the apartment wall, considering how much figurative Kool-Aid I've drunk this week. There is now an empty storefront for klfdesigns at Etsy, waiting for me to set out some badge lanyards and fuzzy scarves, and probably some jewelry as well. Proceeds will benefit the "Parking For Comic-Con" fund.
