burning a hole in my legal pad
Jul. 7th, 2004 01:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alenxa_classicWhen, at the end of your world, they tally all the events of your life, the total will always be less than what you would have preferred. You will know this intimately before the time arrives that will require it to be done, a luxury not all have. We who have gone before have been trying to express this to the handful of you wandering the earth for more years than you can conceive of now, but few have been able to comprehend while still in your realm. You will be one of these few.
You will be fortunate in a way few souls are: you will have the chance to shape your destiny. More fortunate, still, to be satisfied with that which you create. Although--and you will not know this--your endeavors will not be toward the end you might now desire, or think you would choose in the final outcome. You must remember, in the times that will try you, that we often know best by instinct, rather than by design--no matter how cleverly conceived. You know already that you may defeat the forces you have allied against; you must believe that you will.
Yet in your musings on victory you will never shake the soupçon of defeat that must accompany a spirit such as yours into the ink of history. Always to be known, but never as the only, the most, the first and best. It will wound, as it must for one so steeped in success, to be the yin for the yang, the balance of the triangle. Know this now, and prepare for it, and you will escape long years of bitterness. You will receive the same recognitions, the same setbacks and fulfillments whichever outlook you choose; it should not be painful to succeed, though no one will blame you if that is your choice.
And you will have to choose. Not what you believe in, nor for whom you will fight, but to whom you will turn when the long-held lines are at last dissolved. You will weigh your options, at least as many times later as you have done before now; and your mind will do its best to decide independent of your heart. Such is the folly of the young and thoughtful, and of those who can least afford it. You will know this too, in time to recognize what you want, and to tell it apart from what you need.
You will not know until you arrive here, happy and fulfilled, how deeply you fascinate me. And then you will know it in what passes for a heartbeat, as you will know your full life and all it has touched. It breaks some souls with regret, some with joy; and lights up others to show paths to the living. There is a path before you, though you will not see it until it is behind. And through it you will see a different handful of wanderers, dreaming of a life such as you have led, their eyes shining with your illumination.
And it will be enough.
I'd put something here about who gets to do what next, if it weren't 1:40 am and I didn't have to go to work tomorrow. Which is probably where I'll get the idea of what to bounce to whom. Yay for comments.
You will be fortunate in a way few souls are: you will have the chance to shape your destiny. More fortunate, still, to be satisfied with that which you create. Although--and you will not know this--your endeavors will not be toward the end you might now desire, or think you would choose in the final outcome. You must remember, in the times that will try you, that we often know best by instinct, rather than by design--no matter how cleverly conceived. You know already that you may defeat the forces you have allied against; you must believe that you will.
Yet in your musings on victory you will never shake the soupçon of defeat that must accompany a spirit such as yours into the ink of history. Always to be known, but never as the only, the most, the first and best. It will wound, as it must for one so steeped in success, to be the yin for the yang, the balance of the triangle. Know this now, and prepare for it, and you will escape long years of bitterness. You will receive the same recognitions, the same setbacks and fulfillments whichever outlook you choose; it should not be painful to succeed, though no one will blame you if that is your choice.
And you will have to choose. Not what you believe in, nor for whom you will fight, but to whom you will turn when the long-held lines are at last dissolved. You will weigh your options, at least as many times later as you have done before now; and your mind will do its best to decide independent of your heart. Such is the folly of the young and thoughtful, and of those who can least afford it. You will know this too, in time to recognize what you want, and to tell it apart from what you need.
You will not know until you arrive here, happy and fulfilled, how deeply you fascinate me. And then you will know it in what passes for a heartbeat, as you will know your full life and all it has touched. It breaks some souls with regret, some with joy; and lights up others to show paths to the living. There is a path before you, though you will not see it until it is behind. And through it you will see a different handful of wanderers, dreaming of a life such as you have led, their eyes shining with your illumination.
And it will be enough.
I'd put something here about who gets to do what next, if it weren't 1:40 am and I didn't have to go to work tomorrow. Which is probably where I'll get the idea of what to bounce to whom. Yay for comments.
